Men and Ladies on the Internet 3: Good Advice from a smart fellow

As a big fan of SHIMMER Women Athletes I was, yesterday, spending some time at the website of fellow SHIMMER fan, John Hyperion. His blog is really good, and he dedicates a lot of time to reviewing SHIMMER matches, feuds and angles in depth, so I'd suggest hopping over to check it out, if you ever get the chance, and if you like what he says (and if you trust me about what is downright awesome) then mosey right on over to the SHIMMER site and buy yourself a couple of DVDs. John is also a fellow commenter on the awesome Sara Del Rey blog and offers some really great advice on his blog for fellow fans of American joshi.

His advice, basically, boils down to his first point: don't be weird and perverted. When you look at Taylor Wilde, do you just see a hot chick, or do you see a slightly large-headed, rather nerdy Canadian with awesome technical wrestling skills? When you see Daffney, is it just a hot, somewhat Goth chick, or is it a goofy, funny, genuinely nice (and insanely profane) girl from Atlanta (as an ODF gotta holler at a GA home girl, there), with some of the best promo skills in the business today? Is Sara just a statuesque Amazon, or is she the dreaded Death Rey, master of the Royal Butterfly Suplex (that move looks badass)? I'm not trying to say that these women are not completely beautiful, because all three of them are, but you lose so much when you look at a woman--any woman, famous-ish or not--as a prop instead of a person. I know that the Internet's dominant philosophy, Objectivism, which proclaims that Ayn Rand is God and Rorschach is her prophet, sort of lends itself to this kind of thing, but you should feel some kind of moral compass inside telling you that it's not right, whether you're interacting with one of these young workers or with Rebekah the Pretty Barista from Barnes and Nobles. Don't be that guy.

I was also going to include a ramble (another ramble) about the posters at a particular message board and their treatment of Amy "Lita" Dumas, but it seems that the thread in question has disappeared. It had plenty of great examples of the kind of stuff that Mr. Hyperion is talking about--and also some great, if misguided, snaps back by the original poster who is getting to work with Miss Dumas in a professional sense, right now. Such a great opportunity to make a point and all wasted, now! Alas!

Men and Ladies on the Internet 2: Formspring what the hell, now?

There are a huge number of social networking sites on the Internet, these days. Facebook is probably the most popular, now--it has absolutely exploded ever since it was opened up to the general public, and has become almost as annoying as its predecessor, myspace. Livejournal is a great place for the emo among us (if you want a great example check out CM Punk's old lj) and Deviant Art, too, is as much of a dramatic whinescape as it is a place to showcase your World of Warcraft fan-art. Twitter is a lot of fun--and a good way to engage with people in snips and snaps, although not as much as their blogs because it doesn't allow invested discussion--and I like to use it to network with people who share my interest in women's wrestling, both as appreciators and performers.

This networking has led me to an experience with a new website, called Formspring.me. One of the best current performers in female wrestling is the totally amazing Death Rey, Sara Del Rey. Although until recently I had only seen her in a match or two on ROH on HDNet, mostly hanging around with Castagnoli and Chris Hero, and as part of the Four Corners match on the SHIMMER Vol. 2 main event, I became very impressed with Death Rey's blog and twitter feed. Through a little bit of interaction with her, about whey, wheat and hemp protein, I have decided that SDR is a seriously cool chick. I was inspired to look up some of her other matches, considered classics by American joshi fans, and was impressed with those, too, and plan to attend any shows which she works that are within a reasonable geographic distance to my home base.

Most of the questions on her formspring are pretty normal. They are about gossipy stuff, about wrestling matches she likes and/or about music and tv. Some are more personal but understandable, about who she might be dating. Some are... simply incomprehensible or not questions at all. A wide variety of them, however, are crude queries about bra and panties matches and nude photo-shoots. The whole situation seems to be making Death Rey, even a girl as tough as Death Rey, somewhat uncomfortable and I would hate to see it make her less willing to interact with those of us who find her awesome and respect her work. I keep asking myself the same questions that I did about the guy who inquired after (name redacted's) worn panties: who are you, why are you, and which the hell rock did you crawl out from under? Perhaps, in my career, I can do something to teach young men that this is not the proper way to approach a fine, foxy lady-person, or maybe I'm just rage, raging against the dying of the light, as Dylan Thomas would say. Either way, I feel like I'm fighting the good fight, somehow, by at least commenting on all this, and so I'll probably keep doing so. Guys like that just bring you down, though, and make you feel really terrible about the future prospects of the species...

ETA: As of this morning, it's good to see kitty's claws popping out a little more.

What is a real man? 2: Don't be weird and creepifying

I recently ran across this piece of eloquent smoothery on a (usually) intelligent and reasonable (heh) and well known message board for wrestling fans:

"i was quoted by the people who run (name remitted) website that it would cost me 250 dollars to buy a pair of her worn panties"

I'm honestly unsure what I find stranger: the fact that the question got asked in the first place, the fact that it got answered at all, or the exorbitant price quoted. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised at the question... the guys in question, after all, are a collection of ill informed wannabe cabin in the woods libertarians who believe that Ayn Rand is God (and Rorschach is her prophet). Um, actually, in a sad kind of way, I think I just described a massive segment of the internet. Considering that... well, it's gonna be hard to finish this post and I might have to go lie down for a while. Anyway, given that sort interacting with the girl in question and her "people" (who I'm pretty sure is her, her friend/webmistress and her cat, and who are all as crazy as all hell and, like all women anywhere near the public eye, good at humping a buck off of perverts), the communication doesn't surprise me that much at all. I think the bizarreness comes, to me, from the fact that a dude would ask the question in the first place.

(imagine this next part read by the wise, wonderful, late Isaac Hayes)

What kind of man, oh, what kind of man, expresses interest in used panties and not... the treasure beyond? You gotta lay that lady down, that fine foxy lady down, you gotta lay that fine foxy lady down and make sweet love down by the fire, oh, down by the fire. You gotta be strong and gentle, strong and gentle at the same time, gotta murmur sweet nothings while you lay down a bass line, be firm and gentle while you hold the football, yeah, hold the football tightly to you, so you don't fumble when you run down the field, mmm, hold the football tightly, gently, spank the football softly, lay that fine lady, fine foxy lady, down by the fire...

(okay, it's probably time to let Mr. Hayes get back to heaven or fighting Thetans or whatever it is he's doing)

Anyway, what I'm trying to say, I guess, is this: how daft do you have to be, how incapable of interacting with a woman do you have to be, to even consider this an appropriate question? If you want to be cool you don't, I repeat don't offer to buy a woman's laundry. Jesus tap-dancing Christ. If you want to waste money on a chick in the public eye (I've done it, believe me, I've dated a Miss Teen Georgia runner-up, and that kind of chick likes expensive dinners, baby) then you should, I don't know... buy her crap off of her little Amazon wish-list (especially if she reciprocates with hand written notes and personalized photos, or something, which seems sweet to me, although I have, as said, wasted enough money on beauty queens for the moment/lifetime!), and if you want to be slick and awesome and friendly you should promote whatever it is she does on your social networking site, or read and comment thoughtfully on her blog if she has one, or reply to her on twitter and pretend whatever ludicrous thing she is jabbering about is remotely interesting, or tell her that her pet pictures are cute... basically? Do most anything--anything--apart from offering to purchase her laundry basket. Women are people too, men of the internet (real men of genius!), and the best way to make friends is to... be friendly, as Dr. Sevrin would say. You know how to be friendly, don't you?

(Here's a hint: see the first entry under the heading "What is a real man?" for an example of how not to be friendly)