Okay, WWE NXT, could we at least pretend that what we're doing is on the level, here? We know that you have a strange, sick fascination with Joe Hennig... my sister does too, even though he is about as interesting as an episode of Wrestlicious: Takedown. Your fascination with Alex "Reggie" Riley is more understandable--I like the guy, too... he's entertaining--but your dedication to denigrating men who've already proven themselves as wrestlers and gotten pretty darned over in spite of your attempts to bury them is grating. There is no way that Low-Ki's kick would have been weaker than Alex Riley's punch... the quadriceps and posterior chain are so much more powerful than the arms and shoulders, even with added torque from the lats, that it makes the whole thing look vaguely ridiculous.
Anyway, it's good to watch Kaval and Husky Harris fighting each other here... again... tonight. Maybe Kaval will finally get a pin against this big boob, as this interactions have become a little bit tepid considering the poor little Dragon Ball Z character hasn't gotten to win a match in almost forever, and I can't really get excited over him getting clobbered again and again and again and again. Oh well... he got to kiss Layla, my precious little English muffin, last week, and that makes him a winner in an entirely different and more impressive arena!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
American Joshi 10: Melina is back! Yay!
Melina Perez has returned to the ring tonight, against the little toasted white girl Alicia Fox, and had the California crowd pretty much eating out of her little hand. Me too, as a matter of fact. With her inky black hair, fiery Latin temper, and the fact that she can be best described by the word "bendy," Melina is one of my favorite ladies in WWE, and I'm overjoyed that she has returned from her injury whole and better than ever.
The match was intense and stiff. The crowed was fully on Melina's side, even rudely chanting "you can't wrestle," at Alicia Fox a few times. I mean it's probably true... she doesn't really have any talent, but it's just not the kind of thing a polite person would point out, you know? Anyway, after exchanging lots of very rough spots, Melina won with her weird looking, flippy, sunset power bomb, the Primal Scream. After a nice loud shriek--the third best in wrestling, behind Your Soul's Tormentor and the Scream Queen herself--the match was over and the RAW women's division was one step closer to respectable... which is one step closer than Wrestlicious wil ever be.
The match was intense and stiff. The crowed was fully on Melina's side, even rudely chanting "you can't wrestle," at Alicia Fox a few times. I mean it's probably true... she doesn't really have any talent, but it's just not the kind of thing a polite person would point out, you know? Anyway, after exchanging lots of very rough spots, Melina won with her weird looking, flippy, sunset power bomb, the Primal Scream. After a nice loud shriek--the third best in wrestling, behind Your Soul's Tormentor and the Scream Queen herself--the match was over and the RAW women's division was one step closer to respectable... which is one step closer than Wrestlicious wil ever be.
Wrestlicious TakeDown Episode 3: I. Cannot. Watch. This.
Okay, so I finally decided to give the little upstart wrestling promotion, Wrestlicious, a chance. This project, started by lottery winner Jon Vargas, is an all women's promotion with a less violent outlook than the ChickFight tournament, less serious than SHIMMER Women Athletes and less, well, frankly insane (and awesome!) than Women Superstars Uncensored. Wrestlicious is a light hearted mixture of wrestling and sketch comedy. Now, after hearing this, I go in already a little bit nervous, but it could be cute and the episode I'm watching features Daffney, so I figure, what the hell, right? It can't actually be physically painful to watch, right?
I was wrong.
After the first couple of sketches (involving some woman named Leyla Milani, Jimmy Hart, of all people, and Madison Rayne), I decided to not totally ignore the building pain in my head and fast forward to the main event, a tag team match between Ghouls Gone Wild and Lacey von Erich and Madison Rayne. I mean, it's got Daffney in it, playing the role of 'Draculetta.' I mean, I've loved Daffney since she was bouncing around, giggling and screaming on WCW. The girl can act, and she brings a weird dignity to the silliest roles, like Shark Girl and a fake Sarah Palin. Heck, the original Daffney character was pretty ludicrous (anyone marking for David Flair is), and she has only recently developed the kind of complex, multifacted character you can really sink your teeth into (and boy howdy has she) in TNA. But, here nor there, this chick can make hopping up and down and chanting, 'Santa's gonna knock you out!' somewhat compelling, so I figure that this match can't be too bad.
I was wrong.
Not even the astoundingly awesome Daffney, who plays Draculetta to the absolute hilt (and the pretty cool Madison Rayne and the... well, she's trying, Lacey von Erich), can salvage this match. It's a mistimed disaster and poor Daffney/Draculetta--who is usually very athletic, for a pure brawler--seems to keep getting tangled up in the long, maroon dress in which they've inexplicably mired her. I fast forward to the end, watch Lacey go over, and say goodnight. Far from not causing me physical pain, this episode has caused me to have a heart attack, three strokes, diabetes and cancer of the kneecaps, all in twenty minutes. Since this episode was such an epic fail, in my opinion, and is the only one featuring my goofy, slightly countrified Gothic Goddess, I probably won't watch another. Maybe it'll improve?
I was wrong.
After the first couple of sketches (involving some woman named Leyla Milani, Jimmy Hart, of all people, and Madison Rayne), I decided to not totally ignore the building pain in my head and fast forward to the main event, a tag team match between Ghouls Gone Wild and Lacey von Erich and Madison Rayne. I mean, it's got Daffney in it, playing the role of 'Draculetta.' I mean, I've loved Daffney since she was bouncing around, giggling and screaming on WCW. The girl can act, and she brings a weird dignity to the silliest roles, like Shark Girl and a fake Sarah Palin. Heck, the original Daffney character was pretty ludicrous (anyone marking for David Flair is), and she has only recently developed the kind of complex, multifacted character you can really sink your teeth into (and boy howdy has she) in TNA. But, here nor there, this chick can make hopping up and down and chanting, 'Santa's gonna knock you out!' somewhat compelling, so I figure that this match can't be too bad.
I was wrong.
Not even the astoundingly awesome Daffney, who plays Draculetta to the absolute hilt (and the pretty cool Madison Rayne and the... well, she's trying, Lacey von Erich), can salvage this match. It's a mistimed disaster and poor Daffney/Draculetta--who is usually very athletic, for a pure brawler--seems to keep getting tangled up in the long, maroon dress in which they've inexplicably mired her. I fast forward to the end, watch Lacey go over, and say goodnight. Far from not causing me physical pain, this episode has caused me to have a heart attack, three strokes, diabetes and cancer of the kneecaps, all in twenty minutes. Since this episode was such an epic fail, in my opinion, and is the only one featuring my goofy, slightly countrified Gothic Goddess, I probably won't watch another. Maybe it'll improve?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Men and Ladies on the Internet 3: Good Advice from a smart fellow
As a big fan of SHIMMER Women Athletes I was, yesterday, spending some time at the website of fellow SHIMMER fan, John Hyperion. His blog is really good, and he dedicates a lot of time to reviewing SHIMMER matches, feuds and angles in depth, so I'd suggest hopping over to check it out, if you ever get the chance, and if you like what he says (and if you trust me about what is downright awesome) then mosey right on over to the SHIMMER site and buy yourself a couple of DVDs. John is also a fellow commenter on the awesome Sara Del Rey blog and offers some really great advice on his blog for fellow fans of American joshi.
His advice, basically, boils down to his first point: don't be weird and perverted. When you look at Taylor Wilde, do you just see a hot chick, or do you see a slightly large-headed, rather nerdy Canadian with awesome technical wrestling skills? When you see Daffney, is it just a hot, somewhat Goth chick, or is it a goofy, funny, genuinely nice (and insanely profane) girl from Atlanta (as an ODF gotta holler at a GA home girl, there), with some of the best promo skills in the business today? Is Sara just a statuesque Amazon, or is she the dreaded Death Rey, master of the Royal Butterfly Suplex (that move looks badass)? I'm not trying to say that these women are not completely beautiful, because all three of them are, but you lose so much when you look at a woman--any woman, famous-ish or not--as a prop instead of a person. I know that the Internet's dominant philosophy, Objectivism, which proclaims that Ayn Rand is God and Rorschach is her prophet, sort of lends itself to this kind of thing, but you should feel some kind of moral compass inside telling you that it's not right, whether you're interacting with one of these young workers or with Rebekah the Pretty Barista from Barnes and Nobles. Don't be that guy.
I was also going to include a ramble (another ramble) about the posters at a particular message board and their treatment of Amy "Lita" Dumas, but it seems that the thread in question has disappeared. It had plenty of great examples of the kind of stuff that Mr. Hyperion is talking about--and also some great, if misguided, snaps back by the original poster who is getting to work with Miss Dumas in a professional sense, right now. Such a great opportunity to make a point and all wasted, now! Alas!
His advice, basically, boils down to his first point: don't be weird and perverted. When you look at Taylor Wilde, do you just see a hot chick, or do you see a slightly large-headed, rather nerdy Canadian with awesome technical wrestling skills? When you see Daffney, is it just a hot, somewhat Goth chick, or is it a goofy, funny, genuinely nice (and insanely profane) girl from Atlanta (as an ODF gotta holler at a GA home girl, there), with some of the best promo skills in the business today? Is Sara just a statuesque Amazon, or is she the dreaded Death Rey, master of the Royal Butterfly Suplex (that move looks badass)? I'm not trying to say that these women are not completely beautiful, because all three of them are, but you lose so much when you look at a woman--any woman, famous-ish or not--as a prop instead of a person. I know that the Internet's dominant philosophy, Objectivism, which proclaims that Ayn Rand is God and Rorschach is her prophet, sort of lends itself to this kind of thing, but you should feel some kind of moral compass inside telling you that it's not right, whether you're interacting with one of these young workers or with Rebekah the Pretty Barista from Barnes and Nobles. Don't be that guy.
I was also going to include a ramble (another ramble) about the posters at a particular message board and their treatment of Amy "Lita" Dumas, but it seems that the thread in question has disappeared. It had plenty of great examples of the kind of stuff that Mr. Hyperion is talking about--and also some great, if misguided, snaps back by the original poster who is getting to work with Miss Dumas in a professional sense, right now. Such a great opportunity to make a point and all wasted, now! Alas!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Injury 2 and Class Schedule: Another thing I cannot do...
Okay, so tonight, after having sat still for a good portion of the day (I was doing my best, honestly... I want this knee to heal up!) I decided to go out and exercise a little bit. I did bench press yesterday, topping out at a 405 pound triple, and incline bench press topping out at 345, and so I thought that punching a freaking punching bag, which mostly just involves swinging your little fists, would be okay, too, and maybe give me some nice cardio work. It turns out, though, that there's a certain amount of torsion in your legs, when you punch, and now my hamstring is absolutely screaming at me. Looks like I'm just going to go back to bench pressing/incline benching and doing chest supported rows on alternating days, for a while, until this thing sorts itself out completely.
On the other hand, I'm super happy that I've got my class schedule worked out for my first two quarters! I'm taking Church History I and II, New Testament Literary Orientation I and II and hermeneutics (my absolute favorite subjects). I ordered my books today, for a whopping (not really) 426 dollars, and can't wait for them to get here next week so I can get into them. Hopefully I haven't lost all of my ability to write, since I've a good bit of that to do!
ETA: I'm also planning on doing another lengthy ramble about masculinity, epic failures and (God help us all) Mark Madden in the next couple of days.
On the other hand, I'm super happy that I've got my class schedule worked out for my first two quarters! I'm taking Church History I and II, New Testament Literary Orientation I and II and hermeneutics (my absolute favorite subjects). I ordered my books today, for a whopping (not really) 426 dollars, and can't wait for them to get here next week so I can get into them. Hopefully I haven't lost all of my ability to write, since I've a good bit of that to do!
ETA: I'm also planning on doing another lengthy ramble about masculinity, epic failures and (God help us all) Mark Madden in the next couple of days.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Joshi 9: Go Hamada! Go Taylor!
After a long-ish (for Impact, anyway) , hard fought match, Hamada-san and Taylor Wilde are the new TNA Knockouts tag-team champions! This match was excellent and Hamada-san's in ring skills are just as good as they were the last time I saw her on TNA TV what... six months ago? Seven? Gosh, it's been a while. I've really missed that fierce little apple cheeked Japanese queen of the ring. My only complaint tonight is that we didn't see her vicious Michinoku driver variation, the Hama-chan driver, but Taylor's German suplex always looks pretty good, and I'm glad to see new and different things happening in the Knockouts division. The only thing really missing is Daffney... I haven't seen her on Impact in several weeks! We need a tiny top hat infusion, STAT!
The Beautiful People segment tonight was good, too. Poor Lacey! She's just trying to be sweet and helpful, but forgot the important lesson that you should never, never, never get between two girls having a cat-fight over 1) a man or 2) a piece of jewelry. Considering TBP view the KO belts as big, shiny hunks of gold jewelry... well... you can see where the might lead to tragedy. I did like seeing Vel Vel run over to aid/comfort her after she got flattened, though, and am looking forward to seeing where this storyline might go in the near future.
The Beautiful People segment tonight was good, too. Poor Lacey! She's just trying to be sweet and helpful, but forgot the important lesson that you should never, never, never get between two girls having a cat-fight over 1) a man or 2) a piece of jewelry. Considering TBP view the KO belts as big, shiny hunks of gold jewelry... well... you can see where the might lead to tragedy. I did like seeing Vel Vel run over to aid/comfort her after she got flattened, though, and am looking forward to seeing where this storyline might go in the near future.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
School Stuff 1: What am I going to do?
Okay, as of this morning, I had planned to return to my alma mater to obtain a teaching certification... actually two of them, in history and physical education. Unfortunately, without telling me, things have changed, and now alumni have to reapply before taking more classes. Because, obviously, my qualifications have changed since LAST FREAKING NIGHT, and they won't be able to let me in until January. Which, dumb blond on the phone, is winter, not spring. Sigh.
Anyway, I now have to decide if I'm going to go to the Southern Theological Seminary, which I could register to right now, or American Public University, which I would have to wait a couple of days to register to, if they let me back in. I'm probably going to go with the seminary option, as it's a slightly more prestigious school and a more focused, professional degree. The whole situation is downright irritating, though!
Anyway, I now have to decide if I'm going to go to the Southern Theological Seminary, which I could register to right now, or American Public University, which I would have to wait a couple of days to register to, if they let me back in. I'm probably going to go with the seminary option, as it's a slightly more prestigious school and a more focused, professional degree. The whole situation is downright irritating, though!
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