Friday, August 13, 2010

American Joshi 11: Why Daffney is more awesome than awesome.

1. She's one of the two best screamers in wrestling, and is the original Scream Queen. MsChif has a rawer, throatier shriek, but Daffney can go higher and has better vocal control.

2. Her finishers, the Lobotomy and the Daff-knees, look legitimately painful but she never botches them and makes me think she's killed some poor girl.

3. She may fall down, go boom and hit her head, but in a couple of week's Daff always struts back to the ring and shrieks her little lungs out.

4. I'm not normally into girls with tattoos--the blue tends to look dingy--but Daff's green, red and yellow ink is incredibly vibrant against that lovely, porcelain pale skin.

5. One of her newest tattoos, in fact, is a little Ganesha.

6. She's a Southern home girl, from Atlanta, GA (and Cybil,TX), got her start in WCW and currently works in TNA, both of them Southern promotions.

7. She was something interesting to watch in WCW in 1999 and 2000.

8. She seems like a sweet, genuine, funny, goofy chick and has a good creative mind for wrestling character development.

9. She wears tiny top hats.

10. She took the drop onto the tacks and had to get twenty tacks dug out of her head.

11. She can have convincing chemistry with anyone, including the delightfully large-headed blond Canadian midget Taylor Wilde and a hibachi grill.

12. "I'm a boogeeeeeeeeer!"

13. She's a better Sarah Palin than Sarah Palin.

14. Pale, quirky brunettes have got it going on.

15. She has the most wonderful, underrated promos in wrestling.

16. She's zombie hot and/or a pale, sadistic tomato what screams a lot.

17. She makes a creepy, pink shark mask kinda cute.

18. "Santa's gonna knock you out! Santa's gonna knock you out! Santa's gonna knock you out! Santa's gonna knock you out! Huh!"

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